Believing in yourself is the reason people either succeed or fail in life.  It’s that simple! 

The number one reason people fail at something is because they don’t commit to themselves.  People don’t commit to themselves because they don’t believe that they can accomplish it.  Why don’t they believe they can accomplish it?  They don’t believe in themselves!

I’ve had a few successes in my life and more failures than I count.  When I look back on my life I see so much chaos and it’s all because I didn’t believe in myself.  I spent so much time looking for acceptance from the outside world.  I was always seeking attention and approval.  I was forever trying to prove my worth to everyone.

Why? I grew up believing that I wouldn’t amount to anything.  I wasn’t good at anything.  I didn’t like school and didn’t excel at it.  I decided that I was not going to college.  I thought that’s the only way people can be successful.  So I felt that all I could do was work various jobs and never succeed at life.  I just wasn’t handed that card.

These messages were reinforced as I was growing up and they stuck with me well into adulthood.  It was like a broken record repeating itself in all areas of my life:  jobs, relationships, money and success.  I had a set of beliefs that wasn’t working for me.  I blamed a lot of it on the outside world and settled for, “Well that’s just the way it is for me”.

For years I ignored the real issues until they couldn’t be ignored any longer.  After a traumatic breakup, I finally took a long hard look in the mirror and I got real with myself.  The breakup left me with high anxiety and low self-esteem.  I realized that I had to take the already broken relationship I had with myself to another level.

I spent a few months alone, trying to analyze what happened.  Why did I keep getting attracted to the same kind of person in a different body?  I finally looked inward and asked the question again.  In that moment I was finally able to see everything that had plagued my life.  

The problem was me — my belief system:  the “not good enough” person.  I was the person I was attracting – broken and suffering in silence, while looking outward for attention and approval.  We attract what we are, not what we want.  To attract what you want, you must become that which you want.  That’s what I remember reading once in a book written by Wayne Dyer.  My relationships were a mirror image of myself.  Finally, I realized what I needed to work on.  

In the same moment, I also saw the little boy inside myself who was crying.  And that’s when it hit me.  It wasn’t me the man, but the little boy inside myself that hadn’t healed.  He was the one who was crying out for attention and approval because he never got it as a child.  I had lived the better part of my life thinking I wasn’t good enough.   

I was stunned to come to this massive realization about myself, and it left me in shock for some time.  How did I just see this?  I looked back at all my relationships, as well as the conflicts and issues I’d dealt with in my life.  I stopped to analyze how they all started and played out and ended.  My life was on repeat.  Talk about feeling like you were being hit by a ton of bricks!  

In that same moment, I found that I felt completely differently about myself.  I was suddenly seeing life differently and thinking differently.  It was as if a reboot happened and I was no longer in a traumatic stateI no longer needed anyone’s approval.  I was no longer seeking attention from others.  It was just the opposite.  I found myself retreating to a quieter place.  My life became more calm.  And just like that I was this new me.  It took a while for the “upgrade” to take hold.  There were remnants of that old life, that old me still lingering.  But now they felt foreign and further away from the person who I am today.  My soul needed time to let go of things to allow for this change. 

It’s hard to change and it’s even harder to let go of what you have been thinking about yourself for your entire life.  For me, it seemed to happen so quickly but I still needed time to adjust to the new me.  It’s a process.  I have given myself permission to work on it over time because I want to continue to improve and be better every day. 

I am committed to myself for the first time in my life, really committed because this time around I truly believe in myself.  I don’t look outward for approval, but I look inward to feel what’s right for me.  My belief system these days cannot be shaken because I know every day that I am worth it.   I am deserving because of who I am and because what I do is important.  

You are the only one that is holding you back in any part of your life — be it money, family, relationships, or jobs.  Stop blaming others and take responsibility for yourself and make a conscious effort to become better today.

Coach Michael 

Wellness Guide & Shamanic Practitioner